Our weekend: Heart attack via bird and a flirty 3 yr old

It was a nice weekend in the Smith household!

We can't always say that...

Although the weekend did start out with the startle of my life.  Cheyenne left at 7:45 am to go on a long run with the local running group.  I finally got out of bed and went to greet my little man who was watching Jake and the Neverland Pirates.  After saying hi to him I went upstairs to get Adelyn.  I was two feet from her door when all of a sudden A BIRD CAME FLYING OUT OF HER ROOM and into the open playroom!

A BIRD CAME FLYING OUT OF HER ROOM. 

TWO FEET FROM MY FACE! 

Once I recovered from my heart attack I began screaming and raced back downstairs where I did the "ewww, oh my god" dance for the next minute or so. I stood there for a good 3 minutes before finally gathering up the courage to go back up the stairs and get Miss A.  I could not find the bird and was terrified that any movement or noise would send the bird into a frenzy that would end with it pecking my eyes out.  So I got down on the ground and army crawled my way to her room and crib.  I whispered in my loudest whisper-yell "Adelyn, Adelyn get up."  And she just bounced right up and started jumping up and down in her bed! Aggghhh! I quickly sat up and pulled her to the floor with me, begging her to crawl with me.  Of course she would not and she thought we were playing a fun game! I finally spotted the bird on the playroom window ledge, so I grabbed her and ran down the stairs.  In hindsight maybe I should have stayed in front of her instead of grabbing her and inadvertently using her as a human shield against the bird.  Maternal instincts at its finest folks.

Since Cheyenne was gone I had absolutely NO IDEA what to do! Seriously, I sat downstairs for two hours waiting for him and the only rational options I could come up with were:
1) Move to another house
2) Burn this one to the ground

I don't know how single parents do it, kudos to you guys.  If I were a single parent I'd be homeless right now thanks to my burned down bird house.

When Cheyenne finally got home he went upstairs to attend to the bird.  Lincoln was acting all big and bad and said he was going with daddy because they were going to "snatch that bird."  I warned him not to go up there many times.  One minute later I heard his tiny screams as he came barreling back down the stairs.  "The bird is up there!!!" he screamed. "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU ALL MORNING!" I gently reminded him.  Anyway, Cheyenne got the bird to fly out a window (a much better solution than moving or arson) and order was restored.

My breakfast buddy while we waited for Daddy.  I can't believe she'll be 2 in a few weeks!

Later that afternoon was beautiful so I decided to go on a run.  Cheyenne was working near the front of the house so the kids were already outside playing.  As I was walking out to go on my run I was telling the kids bye and noticed one of our neighbors to the left was outside.  We knew a married couple lived there but had never met them and we've lived here since September.  The wife was outside with her cousin and friend, all of them attractive and in their mid-20s.  I said hi and introduced myself.  The kids followed me and also said hi and the girls were all so nice! I then left and went on my run and left the kids there with Cheyenne.

When I came back from my run Lincoln immediately came up to me and said "I want you to go talk to those girls again." I tried to tell him no and that we needed to leave them alone.  But he was so insistent, so I just laughed and walked back over to them. Apparently I am my 3yr olds wingman.

We walk back over and I say "my son wants me to talk to you some more."  We all laughed and then my son proceeded to SHOW. OUT.

He talked a mile a minute, he ran up and down the sidewalk to show them how "fast" he was, and he regaled them with tales of his chocolate cake from his birthday.  He showered one girl with pretend candy and donuts (don't blame him, that's the way to his mother's heart, it's all he knows).  At one point he even said "look, I can pick up my bicycle!" and he then started struggling to pick up his bicycle.  If he were a teenager I'd call him a tool, but doing all of this as a 3yr old was darling.  He was so smitten with those girls and they were egging him on.  It was adorable.

I finally had to drag him away from the girls so they could get back to their conversation.  On Sunday when we went outside again, the first thing he said was "Mom, I want to go over there and talk to the girls." This is when we had to sit down and have the conversation about not being a creeper and how we don't stalk girls.

This kid is going to be trouble! I've always heard about Dads having shotguns for the boyfriends, but it looks like I'm going to have to stand guard on our porch, ready to unleash the crazy in order to keep all the floozies away!

In other news, here is their school picture that I got on Friday.  I started publicly weeping the minute they pulled out the pictures.  I mean, how do you not cry at that cuteness?