This is the story of a dog...

How do you say goodbye to a loving and faithful companion of 11 years?  I don't really know how, but Beamer deserves more than a few sentences on Facebook.

Beamer came into our lives when she was 6 mos old. Cheyenne's roommate at the time had a dog and had recently moved out, so he wanted another dog to keep Bentley company.  And this is how our story of Beamer began...
 

Beamer and Bentley, approx. 6-7 mos old

Cheyenne got her from a couple that said they could no longer care for her.  So we picked her up, took her home, and soon we realized why the couple had a hard time caring for her. She was CRAZY!  But in a good way.  She had a lot of energy and a LOT of love to give and she was moving 24/7.

Soon after Beamer entered our lives she found her one true love, Cheyenne.  I would always say that Beamer loved Cheyenne more than me and his mother and it was absolutely true.  She would get so excited when he was around that she would actually tremble and shake. If Cheyenne went into a room, she would follow right behind.  Sometimes Cheyenne would even have to get on to her about it.  "I'm just going to get a drink Beamer, I'll be right back.  Stay there!"  And she would...watching...trembling.   When Cheyenne started working from home a few years ago, the poor girl was exhausted.  Instead of having a day to sleep away, now Cheyenne was home all day.  Which meant she was on following duty all day long.  The poor girl never got any sleep.  

Gotta make sure he's still breathing....

She was great with our kids.  Both dogs are.  We had read horror stories of dogs who act out once you bring a new child home, but neither dog did.  They were so good with Lincoln that we let Lincoln play a little too rough with them, not realizing they did not like it.  When Lincoln was learning to crawl, he would crawl over the dogs, like a mountain to be conquered.  On one such occasion while Lincoln was crawling over Mt. Beamer, she let out a low growl.  Not threatening, no teeth showing, but just a "hey, I'm kind of done putting up with this."  We heard her loud and clear and made sure Lincoln no longer used them as a jungle gym.  I know it's weird, but I was always so grateful to her for that warning.  For letting us know without snapping at or biting Lincoln.  

Not Amused

Beamer was a people dog, not really a dogs-dog.  If a new dog was around, she would get her sniffs in, but then walk away.  Beamer loved people!  And if you have ever been to our house, you know she never leaves the room while guests are here.  And as a parting gift, our guests would leave covered in her hair.   

While she wasn't a dogs-dog, she did have one that she loved.  Her sister Bentley.  We called them yin and yang, lazy and crazy.  They used each other as pillows and were never far apart.  Over the years they had made some sort of agreement amongst themselves about who went outside and came inside first.  Bentley, even if she's at the door first will stand there and wait until Beamer runs past, then she will go outside.  Same thing coming back inside.  Even if Bentley is at the door, she will wait until Beamer runs in from the yard, then she will enter.  This morning I went to let Bentley out and she just stood there.  She's waiting for Beamer to go out first. I had to nudge her out so she would go and it broke my heart all over again. 

In December Beamer became very weak and could barely move.  She wouldn't eat.  She would not follow Cheyenne from room to room, nor did she greet him when he came home.  So we knew she was not well.  The diagnosis was an enlarged heart.  We were given meds, but told this would be fatal in the end and she maybe had a year left.   We were devastated.

Of course the happiest dog in the world had an enlarged heart.  She loved everyone and everything, just too much love.

So we decided then to give her the best damn year of her life.  Things that were off limits before (couch, bed, etc) were now ok.  

She seemed to be doing well despite her diagnosis.   Yesterday was a normal day.  She was fine.  Cheyenne played fetch with her at 4:30, all was well.   Then we noticed she'd pooped in the floor.  When we told her to go outside, she couldn't get up on her back legs.  She was now whining/crying and wouldn't stop.   We rushed her to the Emergency Vet at Nashville Veterinary Specialists (who were amazing by the way) and it was basically decided that due to her age and heart problems there was not much to be done.  She had a blood clot that was preventing her from walking. She was in so much pain, it was unbearable to watch.  Even on pain medication she still seemed to be in so much pain.

So we took some time and told her how special she was to us, how much we loved her, and we said goodbye.  It was one of the hardest things we've ever done, but she was hurting.  I can't really talk too much about last night.

I now like to think she's following God room to room, with a tennis ball in her mouth.  No longer in pain, running around Heaven with the legs and heart of her youth.  I thank God for giving her to us for these 11 years.   I have never in my life met an animal or human with as much love as she had.  We will love her forever.

Perception is a tricky S.O.B.

Oh that dress.  You know which one I'm talking about.  The one that is so obviously gold and white.

I first saw the dress whilst sitting in a cabin in the lovely Smoky Mountains with my friends. 

Look at them! Aren't they beautiful?!

Two of us first saw the picture and could not understand the big deal , the dress is white and gold, why the uproar?  When we showed the picture to the others, two of them immediately said black and blue.  What?!?! We all then proceeded to freak out about this and call each other liars for the next 45 minutes.

It's blows my mind how someone can look at a picture and see one thing while someone else can look at the same picture and see something completely different!How is that possible?

I realize the dress thing is explained by science (and that's all I really understand about it because you know...science), but it really got me to thinking about everyday life perception.  What else are we seeing/not-seeing on a daily basis? What are we interpreting one way that someone else is interpreting a completely different way?  What have I been missing the last 33 years?

How often do we find ourselves hurt or mad about something someone said or did, and yet that person cannot fathom why we would be mad?  It seems that most problems arise because something was interpreted in the opposite way it was meant to be interpreted.  Other times people are just dicks and do mean things.  But I digress.

A friend recently told me she does not eat at the lunch table at work because it is crowded and she would rather everyone get a seat first and if there is one left available for her, great.  If not, no biggie, and she'll eat in her office.  However, her co-workers took it as she never eats with them, so she must not like them. She was seeing white and gold... everyone else was seeing black and blue.

I find that my feelings are hurt often by others, and not because they are doing malicious things to me on purpose (or are they???), I'm just perceiving their actions in the complete wrong way. Most of the time I even know I'm taking it the wrong way, but what about the times I don't recognize this? 

I cannot count how many times Cheyenne and I have misinterpreted each other.  About a year ago I "liked" an article on Facebook that was written by a blogger I love.  She had gone through some marriage problems and wrote about how they were getting over their problems and making good progress.  I was happy to read that, so I "liked" the article.  Cheyenne logged on later and saw that I had "liked" the article (because Facebook is a stalker) and saw that the article was about marriage problems.  He thought I "liked" it because I thought we had marriage problems.  He began to wonder what I thought was wrong in our marriage and are we ok? All from a Facebook "like"!  Perception can be a nasty S.O.B. sometimes (as can Facebook).

So instead of us all getting our panties in a wad about #TheDress and what color it is or is not, maybe we all need to take a lesson from it and try to see things a little more black and blue in our lives (because the dress is  so obviously white and gold).  Maybe we need to asses our own actions and words and see if we're projecting black and blue instead of the white and gold we intended.

Who knew the dress was so deep?

(and yes, I know the real dress is black and blue.  Whatever)





 

One Thankful Turkey

I really enjoy the whole "Thankful" thing people do on Facebook each day leading up to Thanksgiving.  I decided to do the same this year, except compact it all into one nice little post.

Nov.1st: I'm thankful that I only have 27 more days until I can start listening to Christmas music!

Nov. 2nd: Thankful that we had the opportunity to go to West Virginia for a short trip with our friends Mark and Kasey.  We always have such a great time with them and we travel very well with them. 

 

13.1.... done!

Nov. 3rd: I am incredibly thankful for Advil and water to help this hangover... ugh...

Nov. 4th: Peanut butter M&M's

Nov. 5th: I'm thankful for little guys who want to go out in public as Spiderman

Nov. 6th: Carmex

Nov. 7th: Thankful for my friends.  I'm really blessed to have such a good group of girls who will listen to me whine, complain, cry, or laugh at any time of the day.

Nov. 8th:  I am thankful for grandparents who live close to us and will take the demon spawn children when mom feels like she just can't handle anymore....

Nov. 9th: Thankful for new days and second chances with the kiddos.

Nov.10th: Hipster glasses on tiny boys

Nov. 11th:  Thankful for our Veterans past, present, and future.  There is no way I could handle the military life or do what they do.  How fortunate are we to live in a country with our freedoms and with a military to keep us protected? Very fortunate indeed.

Nov. 12th: My job.  I'm very thankful to have a job and to have one that I enjoy and like going to every day.  If I could just get them to change office hours to 10-4, then I'd be set!

Nov. 13th: Cheyenne.  Love that guy.  He can pretty much do anything.  He's a hard worker and a great provider, husband, and father.  

Nov. 14th: Cookies, chocolate chip of course 

Nov. 15th: 30 day return policies on Christmas trees.  We purchased a new Christmas tree and the 30 day return policy ended on Nov. 17th, so we put it up to see if we liked it.  We did.  And since it was up, might as well decorate! 

Nov. 16th: Thanksgiving projects. The kids actually did so well with this, I thought it would be chaos, but they loved it. 

Nov. 17th: Christmas jammies.  I got the kids Christmas jammies this past weekend and now every day when we get home from school they race upstairs to put them on.

and when I ask them to smile, this is what I get.  Sigh....

 Nov. 18th: Christmas jammies selfies

Nov. 19th: Fuzzy slippers

Nov. 20th: Blonde children in brunette families

Nov. 21st: Speaking of blonde children, Adelyn's morning hair

Nov. 22nd: Oh Adelyn. She is not  a morning person. She's just like me and while it's infuriating in the mornings when we're trying to get ready, it also makes me laugh. 

This is her climbing back INTO her crib after I got her out this morning because she does not want to get up.  And yes, she's still in a crib.  My plan was to keep her in there until at least Kindergarten because I cannot handle two kids who can get out of their bed.  I guess that plan is now out the window... 

Nov. 23rd:Little Indians dressed in aprons

Nov. 24th: Beer.  Specifically, the beer in my fridge that is there to greet me following the torture that is called "the bedtime routine."

Nov. 25th: Birth Control

Nov. 26th:  Pigtails

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you all have a great day!

How to Ruin Your 4 yr Old's Weekend

Take him on his first airplane ride EVER! Pack portable DVD player and 3 of his favorite DVDs.  Sit back and watch him throw a bitch fit about the 1 DVD you did not pack.  You did not pack this DVD because you DON'T. EVEN. OWN. the DVD he speaks of.

You even gave him the window seat.  Rookie

Offer him complimentary airplane pretzels.  He will say no, he does not want them.  So then you will begin to eat said pretzels at which time he will throw yet another bitch fit because he wants those.  You will offer him a pack of pretzels that have not been opened.  Fool, he doesn't want those! THOSE are not HIS pretzels.  Offer him the rest of pack you started eating.  Those are no longer good either because you have already eaten 2-3 and obviously the whole pack is ruined.  Obviously.

Go get rental car. Plane will land and you will start to make your way to the rental car desk.  4 yr old will proceed to whine that you need to "sign out" (what??? I still have no idea what he meant by that) and will start crying because he wants to go this way (even though you need to go the other way). You will try to get him excited about riding in a cool new car! But it will not work, he wants Daddy's truck and ONLY daddy's truck... that is in TN...and you are currently in South Dakota....

Drive to hotel. You have a couple hour drive ahead of you in order to reach your final destination, so you will stop to get lunch.  Hey, let's go to McDonald's!!! You can eat it in the car and it's YOUR FAVORITE PLACE.  Hooray!! Hoowrong. 4 yr old will declare he wants to eat at the hotel.  You will explain that the hotel is far away and we will be so hungry by the time we get there.  So let's eat McDonald's, yay! No, this is unacceptable.  Cue crying....

Eat Lunch. You choose to go to McDonald's anyway.  You ask Satan whiny 4 yr old if he wants 4 or 6 chicken nuggets.  He will say 3, he only wants 3.  You order 6 (because dad will eat any  leftovers) and just before you pass them back to him you have the thought that you better take 3 out of the box.  It's a good thing you did that because that mother-effer will count them as soon as he gets the box in order to make sure you are following directions.

Arrive at destination. You get to hotel and get to your room.  4 yr old immediately starts to strip so that he can get into his swimming trunks.  You tell him you need to do a few things around town first and then we will swim.  Mistake.  You then offer short pool time, but then we have to come back to the room and go do other things.  He accepts the deal, but you still know you will face his wrath when pool time is over.  You take him to the pool, even though you know how it will end, because you are worn down and you just want 30 min of peace.   When pool time is over, 4 yr old will cry  throughout hotel lobby about how he "never gets to go swimming." I just....can't.....

Do fun things. You finally get a smile on his face by taking him go-karting and playing putt putt golf.  You thank the good Lord for this 45 min of peace you have stumbled upon.

You just try to get through the rest of the night and you honestly don't remember much of it because you have checked out and your body is on some sort of auto-pilot just trying to survive and not destroy the boy child.

Wake up the next morning. It's time to get dressed! 4 yr old does not want to get dressed.  You ask over and over for him to get dressed and he begins to cry because he wants to wear his 'struction (construction) shirt and you go to put it on him and he cries because he wants his ninja turtle shirt and you go to put it on him and he cries because he wants shorts, no pants, no I don't want any of these clothes.  You start to cry too.  Is there a mini-bar in our room somewhere?

Go see Daddy at 1/2 Marathon Start Line.  The Start Line is on a football field! 4 yr old will cry because you are an asshole and won't let him play football on said field.  You will point out that there are no footballs around, no one is currently playing football on the field, and that you have to go eat breakfast and the football field is about to close.  He will then whine about how "he never gets to play football."

See Daddy race by at Mile 9.  He will throw you a bone and be ok with this.

Post-race Lunch. You will arrive at restaurant and he will ask to sit outside.  As soon as you sit at your table he will declare he wants to sit inside.  He will start whining.  You might, just maybe, scream at him "IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!" He will say he does not want to eat.  And he will hold firm.  And because he is one stubborn SOB he will not eat the chicken tenders and fries you ordered for him.

Go home. You will shove the DVD player in his face at all times because you do not care anymore and at this point it's more about getting him home alive than it is about his tiny little eyes and brain cells consuming 1,000 hours of Jake and the Neverland Pirates.

So there you have it.  Pin this to your Pinterest, print it out, do whatever you have to do so that YOU TOO can ruin your 4 yr old's weekend!

WHY...?

So it's no secret that I am easily annoyed by things/people/pets/life....  The other day I found myself getting riled up about everything that was happening and then I thought "maybe the problem is me."  I feel like I am pretty self-aware, so maybe all the things I think are SO DUMB actually have valid reasons for being done.

So dear friends, I'm going to ask some questions about things that bother me and maybe YOU can explain to me why people do these things and give me some insight so I can adjust my attitude.  Because I am at a loss...

WHY, at the grocery store, do people wait until the person in front of them is completely checked out before they even attempt to put their groceries on the moving belt? 

Example:
 

and no, that pole is not blocking her way

WHY???  Please dear interwebz explain to me why she is doing this?  She is not the first person to do this either, this happens ALL. OF. THE. TIME.  So much so that now I'm thinking that maybe I am missing some valuable grocery information in not waiting 15 years before unloading my cart.  For years I have been a chump and have begun unloading my groceries as soon as the person in front of me was done.  I thought that was what the little divider stick was for! If that is not what the stick is for, then someone please God tell me: WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THE STICK?

Once this lady finally unloaded her groceries she got her credit card out to pay and then SAT HER PURSE DOWN ON THE BELT, BLOCKING THE SENSOR, SO THAT NO GROCERIES COULD PROCEED TO THE FRONT! I almost lost my shit* right there.  WHY would she do this? And WHY, when I asked her if she could please move it so the groceries would move up so I could keep unloading, WHY did her and the cashier look at me like I'M the one who is crazy? 

She finally left and it was my turn.  As the cashier bagged my groceries I also began to wonder why she was bagging them the way that she was.

WHY are there 5 huge jars all together, banging against each other just waiting to break, in one bag making it around 10 lbs of bag to carry?  

hmmm... I wonder what jalapenos and Alfredo taste like when they're mixed in a bag together?

And then my one lonely cereal box gets a whole bag to itself.....?  Why....? What bagging wisdom am I missing here?  Please tell me because I really do not know.

The cereal must be bagged alone!  Protect the cereal!

Another thing I need clarity on is parking. 

WHY do people treat the world as their own personal parking lot?

Example:

 

This is not an action shot.  This was at daycare and both cars are parked there.  I thought maybe they were waiting for people who were about to walk out.  I went inside and picked up both kids, so I was inside for around 10 minutes.  I came out, put the kids in the car and these two cars were still parked there! People were sitting in them, so they were not unattended, but did these people even notice (or care) that they are blocking people from driving around in the lot?  I had to go that way to leave so I got behind the white car and gave a short honk on the horn.  The guy then pulled over by the curb, where he was still close to the entrance and now out of the way.


WHY DIDN'T HE DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE? 


WHAT AM I MISSING HERE?  Please tell me, but I just do not understand.

So please, give me some perspective.  Please explain these things to me because I just do not understand.

Forgive my fiestieness.  Maybe I'm irritated because I completed 13.1 freaking miles in the KY Derby 1/2 Marathon on Saturday and then GAINED WEIGHT! (how does that happen?).  Maybe I'm irritable because my big toenail hurts like a mo-fo from that race and now I'm scared it's going to fall off just in time for sandal season.

Or maybe I'm irritated because when I was putting away all those groceries I painstakingly got the other day, I found out my husband has been hiding food from me! 

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Pop Tarts! What the crap! And he's using his super powers of "being tall" to hide them on the top shelf that I can only see if I'm on a step ladder.  I see how you want to play this Cheyenne.  I am searching all the high cabinets this week to see what else I can find.  Jerk.  I'm going to start hiding things in the space with the cleaning supplies for the bathroom.  He'll never find my stuff there!

I totally beat my last 1/2 Marathon time of 2:56 with a time of 2:54 on Saturday.  It's only 2 minutes, but better is better.  Obviously Cheyenne killed it and as usual had to wait over an hour at the Finish Line for me to finish the race. 

So people, lay it on me.  What am I missing in these scenarios? Help me not to scream at them like a crazy woman, because I'm almost at that point people.


* sorry to curse on this post.  I try to keep things clean here, but sometimes no other words really capture my true feelings.  "Lose my crap" just does not have the same effect as "Lose my shit."  Well crap... I did it again.  My bad...

Our weekend: Heart attack via bird and a flirty 3 yr old

It was a nice weekend in the Smith household!

We can't always say that...

Although the weekend did start out with the startle of my life.  Cheyenne left at 7:45 am to go on a long run with the local running group.  I finally got out of bed and went to greet my little man who was watching Jake and the Neverland Pirates.  After saying hi to him I went upstairs to get Adelyn.  I was two feet from her door when all of a sudden A BIRD CAME FLYING OUT OF HER ROOM and into the open playroom!

A BIRD CAME FLYING OUT OF HER ROOM. 

TWO FEET FROM MY FACE! 

Once I recovered from my heart attack I began screaming and raced back downstairs where I did the "ewww, oh my god" dance for the next minute or so. I stood there for a good 3 minutes before finally gathering up the courage to go back up the stairs and get Miss A.  I could not find the bird and was terrified that any movement or noise would send the bird into a frenzy that would end with it pecking my eyes out.  So I got down on the ground and army crawled my way to her room and crib.  I whispered in my loudest whisper-yell "Adelyn, Adelyn get up."  And she just bounced right up and started jumping up and down in her bed! Aggghhh! I quickly sat up and pulled her to the floor with me, begging her to crawl with me.  Of course she would not and she thought we were playing a fun game! I finally spotted the bird on the playroom window ledge, so I grabbed her and ran down the stairs.  In hindsight maybe I should have stayed in front of her instead of grabbing her and inadvertently using her as a human shield against the bird.  Maternal instincts at its finest folks.

Since Cheyenne was gone I had absolutely NO IDEA what to do! Seriously, I sat downstairs for two hours waiting for him and the only rational options I could come up with were:
1) Move to another house
2) Burn this one to the ground

I don't know how single parents do it, kudos to you guys.  If I were a single parent I'd be homeless right now thanks to my burned down bird house.

When Cheyenne finally got home he went upstairs to attend to the bird.  Lincoln was acting all big and bad and said he was going with daddy because they were going to "snatch that bird."  I warned him not to go up there many times.  One minute later I heard his tiny screams as he came barreling back down the stairs.  "The bird is up there!!!" he screamed. "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU ALL MORNING!" I gently reminded him.  Anyway, Cheyenne got the bird to fly out a window (a much better solution than moving or arson) and order was restored.

My breakfast buddy while we waited for Daddy.  I can't believe she'll be 2 in a few weeks!

Later that afternoon was beautiful so I decided to go on a run.  Cheyenne was working near the front of the house so the kids were already outside playing.  As I was walking out to go on my run I was telling the kids bye and noticed one of our neighbors to the left was outside.  We knew a married couple lived there but had never met them and we've lived here since September.  The wife was outside with her cousin and friend, all of them attractive and in their mid-20s.  I said hi and introduced myself.  The kids followed me and also said hi and the girls were all so nice! I then left and went on my run and left the kids there with Cheyenne.

When I came back from my run Lincoln immediately came up to me and said "I want you to go talk to those girls again." I tried to tell him no and that we needed to leave them alone.  But he was so insistent, so I just laughed and walked back over to them. Apparently I am my 3yr olds wingman.

We walk back over and I say "my son wants me to talk to you some more."  We all laughed and then my son proceeded to SHOW. OUT.

He talked a mile a minute, he ran up and down the sidewalk to show them how "fast" he was, and he regaled them with tales of his chocolate cake from his birthday.  He showered one girl with pretend candy and donuts (don't blame him, that's the way to his mother's heart, it's all he knows).  At one point he even said "look, I can pick up my bicycle!" and he then started struggling to pick up his bicycle.  If he were a teenager I'd call him a tool, but doing all of this as a 3yr old was darling.  He was so smitten with those girls and they were egging him on.  It was adorable.

I finally had to drag him away from the girls so they could get back to their conversation.  On Sunday when we went outside again, the first thing he said was "Mom, I want to go over there and talk to the girls." This is when we had to sit down and have the conversation about not being a creeper and how we don't stalk girls.

This kid is going to be trouble! I've always heard about Dads having shotguns for the boyfriends, but it looks like I'm going to have to stand guard on our porch, ready to unleash the crazy in order to keep all the floozies away!

In other news, here is their school picture that I got on Friday.  I started publicly weeping the minute they pulled out the pictures.  I mean, how do you not cry at that cuteness?

 

Valentine's Day

Oh Valentine's Day.  You know, I have never understood the big issue with this holiday.  I do not see the big deal in having a day dedicated to expressing love to someone.  Yes, we should do that all the time, but life gets busy, we get caught up in our own stuff and sometimes we need reminders.  I do think people can go overboard with the gifts, but if that's how they "love" then what's wrong with that? I guess I've just never understood why people are so anti-Valentine's Day.  But I digress... I'm here to talk about my Valentine's Days.  Because I'm narcissistic like that. 

In my college and post-college days I spent this day alone, no biggie.  While I would have loved someone to share the day with, I did not chastise those that had someone.  I knew that one day when I found my love that I would then get to celebrate Valentine's Day and then all the chocolate and flowers would be mine, forever.

After what seemed liked decades, the Lord finally sent me Cheyenne.  Score! Have you seen him??? I super out-kicked my coverage on that one.  The first Valentine's Day we spent together he made me dinner, got me a card, and we had a nice little celebration at his house.  It was great and I hoped that many more Valentine's Days were in our future. 

So imagine my surprise on our first married Valentine's Day when my sweetheart all of a sudden starting spouting the typical anti-Valentine's Day hate speech... "it's just a stupid holiday made up by the card company to get us to spend money."  Say what??? But last year you made me dinner.... there was candy.... what happened?  (They say women change after they get married, well you know what, so do the boys.  So do the boys).

We went on to spend 5 celebration-less, candy-less, candlelight-less Valentine's Days together.  So last year when Cheyenne was on his usual rant about "it's not a special gesture for me to get you something if you EXPECT it on Valentine's Day. It's more special if you get something unexpected, that's romantic."  Then I asked him "so when have you gotten me something romantic unexpectedly?"  Boom! Checkmate Amy! I then went on to remind him that Words of Affirmation and Gifts are my love languages and how hard is it to buy me some King Size M&M's, slap them in my hand and tell me I'm pretty?  That's all I'm asking for! Not diamonds, not handbags, not even a dinner out (although I would take any of those).  I seriously just want some candy and a handful of compliments.  And maybe not to have to do bedtime with the kids that night. 

After our conversation last year, I was surprised and delighted by my bouquet below on Valentine's Day.  He nailed it! I actually cannot imagine a better gift (except maybe not having to do bedtime with the kids that night). 

  
And what did I get Cheyenne last year you ask?  Nothing.  I got him nothing because his love language is "never spending money, ever."  So his "gift" was the money, still in our bank account.  You're welcome dear.

So with a successful 2013 Valentine's under our belt I was looking forward to 2014.  That is, until I walked into the kids daycare the other day.  At the entrance of daycare is a Black History Month/Valentine's Day bulletin board.  At the top of the board it says "Who do you love?" and has pictures of some of the kids holding signs of who they said they loved.  I was delighted to see that Lincoln had made the bulletin board.  That was until I actually read the board....

Acutally, of the 7 kids, 5 said Mom, 1 said Dad, and 1... well, you'll see

Oh can you not see what that little traitor said?  Let me zoom in...

Another Smith man breakin my heart

That's right.  My boy said "Friends."  Friends! Can you believe that??? ALL of the other children named a parent and my kid said friends.

After seeing the board I ever so gently asked Lincoln
"WHAT THE CRAP LINCOLN! All of your other friends said they loved their Mom and you said you loved your FRIENDS? WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?"

And because Lincoln still does not understand passive-aggressiveness or guilt, he simply went on to explain that he DOES love his friends and then he proceeded to name every child on the board and talk about how he loves them. What. Ever.  At 3 years old he is already forgetting the primary woman in his life right now and acting like such a MAN.  He really is his father's son huh?

Fine.  I see how you want to play this.  Game on Lincoln Smith.  Game. On.

Because they have been talking about Valentine's Day at school, every day this week when I have picked him up he has asked me if I have any candy for him because it's "Balentines."  Well my answer now just might be "No, Mommy had candy, and then she ate ALL OF IT. Maybe you should go ask your friends, you know, the one's you LOOOVVVEEE, for some candy."  

But maybe answers like that are the reason I didn't make the bulletin board in the first place... 

Anyway, I hope you all have a Happy Valentine's Day filled with candy, loved ones, and grateful children.

New Year's Resolutions

I normally do not make New Year's Resolutions.  I don't know why really, I guess maybe I just do not want to set myself up for any kind of failure.  I'm also a pretty lazy person and don't really like to DO things.  In the past my resolutions look more like this:

I could totally dominate this, by the way. (courtesy of http://stream.pleated-jeans.com)

I know the big "resolution" for most people is normally weight loss or fitness inspired.  Well, as much as I would like to shed some pounds, I just do not know how feasible that is as long as Mars keeps producing M&M's....

This year however, I have set a few goals for myself.  While they are all totally feasible, they will also be fairly difficult for me to accomplish.  Normally anything difficult has me running in the opposite direction (and into the loving arms of my bed), so again, that could be why I have never had official resolutions in the past.

So, for 2014 I've decided I'm going to throw a curve ball to myself and change it up. This year I would like to:

1) Read 16 books.  Last year I had a goal on Goodreads.com (it's like Facebook for books) of reading 15 books and I squuueeaakked by and finished my 15th book on December 28th.  This will make reading 16 books pretty difficult for me, but I think it can be done.  I do all of my reading in bed at night, so sometimes it's hard to get this done when fighting work/kids/life-in-general exhaustion.  However, I do fall asleep faster when I read for a bit, so maybe this could also help my sleep life.  Momma has a hard time falling asleep and a hard time waking up.  It's a vicious cycle.

2) Run a minimum of 276 total miles.  To the non-runners out there you are probably all "Whoa, that's crazy!"  To all the runners out there, you are probably all "So you'll go on like what, 5 runs?"  

Any time I run I use the Map My Run app on my phone.  This tracks how far I've gone on each run and will tally up my miles by day, week, and year.  Last year I ran 138 total miles.  I am very proud of those 138 miles.  Coming from a couch-potato like myself this was a huge accomplishment for me in 2013.  I did not set out to run a certain amount of miles/times last year, my goal was just to get up and go.... And honestly, I wussed out on running a lot of times, so if I can keep my motivation up I know I can easily accomplish this.  Maybe this will keep me motivated to get out there.  I did my first two runs this weekend, so my total for 2014 thus far: 4.06.  Only 271.94 to go!

And just to put this goal in perspective, last year Cheyenne ran a total of 1,000 miles! So my 276 goal is weak sauce compared to what he can do, but hey, it's still better than zero.

3) Finish the Derby 1/2 marathon in 2 hours and 45 min.  I will be running my second 1/2 marathon on April 19th.  The Kentucky Derby Festival Mini Marathon is normally the same day as the Country Music Marathon (and I work that event), however, this year it is the weekend before so Cheyenne and I can participate.  We also have some very good friends in Louisville, so we are always looking for a reason to go up there for a weekend.  I finished my first 1/2 marathon last year in 2 hrs 56 min.  Shaving 11 min off my time might be too big of a goal.  In fact, as I type this I'm realizing that I might have set my sights too high on this one.  Maybe I'll re-evaluate this and come back....

So for a 1/2 marathon, 337 M&Ms...

And that's it. 

I know what you are thinking "WOW! 3 whole resolutions! How ever will she do it?"   Well us lazy quitters have to start small in order to get out of our "Very Lazy, Want To Quit" zone. 

Obviously I have the other, generic, same resolutions as everyone else
* Be a better person
* Be a NICER person (This is the hardest one on this list, honestly)
* Have more patience with the kids (no wait, this one's harder) (that's what she said)
* Be a better wife
* Blah, blah, other things about improving myself, blah, snore....

But those are boring and I have nothing insightful to say about those things. 

To those of you with New Year Resolutions/Goals, good luck to you! I would love to hear about them and then I can help encourage you and keep you going.  Even in June, when you'll be all like "Amy, seriously, it's June and I could give two flips about my resolutions." I'll be that annoying friend that you later block on Facebook and your phone because you can't handle my enthusiasm!

Kidding.  I'm totally the "you should buy that!" and "you're right, running DOES suck, you should stop and come sit on this couch with me" friend.....  But I'd still like to hear what you've got.  Then we can complain about our resolutions together, like friends should. 

Where did December go?

It happens every year.  I look at Cheyenne on December 23rd and say "How is tomorrow Christmas Eve?" He then says to me "You've said that every year for the last 6 years."  Every year for the last 6 Christmases December flies by and before I know it, it's Christmas.  I went from a job in Minor League Baseball, where hardly anyone worked the whole month of December to working for a college football Bowl game where now there are not enough hours in December for Amy.  Oh well... one day I will get my holiday back.

If you care, here's a look back at our quick and hurried December. 

Not only do we have Christmas in December, but we also have our anniversary.  When we got married in 2007, I still worked for the Sounds.  That year I worked a total of 5 days the whole month of December, it was magical.  This year, our anniversary coincided with Selection Sunday, so we did not have much time to celebrate.  However, due to a butt-load of Southwest points, combined with Southwest deals, we were able to catch a flight to Chicago for the day.  In 2006 when we were still dating Cheyenne took me to Chicago in December, so we wanted to reminisce a bit this year.  It was all of  10 degrees that day, but we bundled up and dealt with it.  We walked Chicago all day, went to Willis Tower, Millennium Park, the shops of Magnificent Mile, and most importantly, we ate meals without having to cut up anyone else's food or scream "JUST SIT DOWN!" at any point during the meal. The entire trip to Chicago was worth just being able to sit down and eat in peace.

Since Lincoln was born, one of my favorite things to do in December is take the kids to see Santa. Last year both kids did really well so I was excited to see how this year would go.  Lincoln talked a lot about Santa and Adelyn also would get excited whenever she would see "San Claw" so I was pumped to get this year's picture.  

So we packed the kids up and headed to our closest mall.  And when we saw the traffic to that mall we detoured and went to the old "has been" mall and got in the Santa line. As we got closer in line to Santa, the kids got more excited. (I won't talk about how we got there as soon as Santa got back from break and there was a line a mile long that we had to wait in.  No, I won't talk about that...).  Finally, it was our turn.  Lincoln wanted to hold Adelyn's hand as they walked up to Santa (swoon). He grabbed her hand and she immediately snatched it back and turned to stone! She would not move.  I pick her up and she started waving at Santa, so I think we're good.  Lincoln gets on his lap and as I go to put Adelyn on his lap she clutches to me for dear life and immediately starts screaming.  Now, I love me a good child-screaming-at-Santa picture, but she was just so scared I couldn't leave her there.  So a family picture it became.  

They take the first picture and say "oh, the little girl is not smiling" (um....duh) but they decide to take another. Fine, whatever.  As they take the second one I am struggling to hold on to Adelyn, who is desperately trying to make her getaway, and then, I blink.  I felt it when they snapped the picture.  But no worries, I think.  I'll just choose the first picture.  We go to the register and they have ALREADY PRINTED THE PICTURES! And they printed the BLINKING PICTURE! The one where I'm blinking, Lincoln looks scared, and Adelyn does not have the cute cry face, but more of a weird, mid-scream ugly face.  Cheyenne looks fantastic (as usual). I know what you're thinking "Well, just don't buy the picture."  But here's where's Santa's pushy little elves get you.  They make you order BEFORE you get to Santa, the bastards.  So now I have 4 terrible Santa pictures to hide forever, or bring out for whenever Teenager Adelyn starts getting sassy.

Terrible, just terrible.  Except Cheyenne, of course.

On December 20th, Lincoln was in his very first Christmas program.  He was the STAR of the program! (Ok, i mean the actual "star", but it's still fun to say it the first way).  They had a fashion show to start and I put Miss A in her Christmas outfit for the show.  She was the first to go down the "runway" and she was shy and had on her mean mug face (or, her mother's face), until she saw me and then she darted right for me! Love! Unfortunately my pictures of her are blurry from that day.  After the fashion show the kids came out for the short program.  I knew Lincoln would be a "star" but I had no idea how CUTE they would dress the kids! As soon as I saw him I burst into tears! I simply could not handle the cuteness.  I only cried through about a 1/4 of the program, so that's progress for me.  

Holy Crap! That's the cutest thing I've ever seen!!!

Christmas was great as usual.  The kids were unbelievably spoiled (ahem...grandparents).  Lincoln was present hungry and was already thinking of his next present while unwrapping his current one.  At one point the sentence "Adelyn, do you want to help me unwrap your present?" was said.  We had to reign him in a bit, but he still did really well.  Children really do make Christmas so much fun.  I give them a lot of grief, but those babies are my heart and soul. 

Here are a few of my favorite Christmas pictures.

Lincoln "helping" Adelyn unwrap her gift

I LOVE this picture of her! She looks so grown up and chic

Putting out cookies for Santa.  Santa understands how busy Mommy is in December and that she completely forgot to "make" something for Santa and then had to buy cookies at the last minute.

Another favorite.  And I love Adelyn's Christmas outfit, made by Crystal Rigsby at For the Love of Your Baby

 Christmas was good to Mamma as well! My family knows me so well.

I stress ate 2 of those bags during Bowl Week....

And then December 26th arrives, I go back to work, Bowl week begins, and Christmas is long forgotten.  Sigh...  It all goes by so fast and every year I say I'm going to do better next year and then the next December arrives and I get too busy and stressed and then the next thing I know I'm at Walgreens madly grabbing at gift cards because once again I've waited too long to buy anyone a decent present.  Oh well, next December I will do better....